We are people and we have problems. Problems are the means by which our soul chooses to be enriched by becoming more and more creative in our decisions. This would tell you every expert on personal development. But there is also a deeper and still secret aspect that stands in the way of our happiness.
Do you know that the source of most of our problems is only one. Yes, one single thing stops us from living our lives and going our way forward in prosperity. There is something that pulls us back, which keeps us entwined in the net of the past.
It is called LOYALTY or BLIND CONNECTIVITY.
Loyalty is inherent to each of us because we are connected. That, which we get in the life package from our parents contains the seeds of a lot of information. Information flowing from generation to generation, sometimes coming from very far – up to 7 generations back. We do not know anything, but we feel the effect of the unfavorable seeds when they begin to germinate in our lives. Then come the questions – “Where did it come from?”, “Why is this happening to me?”, “I do not deserve this…” and so on.
Loyalty is beyond our conscious control
The influence of our loyalties (connections) is not under our control. We can be loyal to the fate of someone we do not even know. Each of our cells is one of our ancestors up until the beginning of the Creation. And so we unconsciously choose situations to replicate the lives of those with difficult destinies that have long been gone, as if something can be balanced.
Go back to your life ….
There is an exit. The exit is to HONOR. This is one of the secret ingredients that guarantees you life in joy and ease.
This is not an intellectual process, and there is no formula I can give you to do it because it does not work that way.This is a deep process of immersion and release. YOU LEAVE AND GIVE BACK the fate to the one for whom life was a test. To realize, that for you it is different and that your destiny is different. That what for you is a burden, for those whose destiny you have appropriated, that is dignity. This happens in a sacred space in which the powers of the Spirit move us, and we, the little ones, only follow.
When you can look at the one, whose fate you repeat with love and from distance, then everything comes to the right place, especially you stand relaxed at yours.
This is one secret ingredient of the good life – HONOR AND RESPECT. It helps you to be yourself, but also to stay connected with those before you. So you draw strength and grow in your life, feeling the support behind your back.
The second ingredient of the good life is GREATFULNESS
In this context, it means to take THE LIFE from your parents absolutely unconditionally. However, what lives in many of us in its place is IRRECONCILABILITY. The raging emotions in us are of irreconcilable, oppressed, misunderstood children, who think it could have been different, that they have not received enough, that Mommy and Daddy could have been better, more together, given them more love. So we take only a part of our lives. It’s as if we do not deserve it al.l We only take as much, so we can lean forward to the chains of pain, which was different from our ideas. The accusation against the parents is a true demon that holds us in the past. This demon is often felt like a weight in the chest like a lump in the throat or as an arrogant pride that if it could speak would say – “Now I will show you how …. “
The panacea of this is to drink from the river of life from the lower part. Let yourself relax in the arms of the earth in front of those who are the instrument of life for you. Allow yourself to snuggle again as a little child in the arms of your parents and in your heart they to remain connected forever through the love that created you. You see, their connection has allowed you to exist. This is so big. Let go of all life stories afterwards and breathe deeply into the arms of these “perfectly imperfect” parents, as Lorenzo Campesse says.
It is so humbling. The reason for the fight seems to go away suddenly and you relax as never before. You give space to that pure being in you to take a breath again, as if for the first time in such a long time.
The third component of the good life is EXCHANGE.
Exchange is a way to level up what is more or what is less. Open on both sides – to give once you get. How many of us are trying to pour their empty cups … It’s exhausting and impossible. By giving from yourself, you are turning away from the great river. If you manage to get to a state of OPENNESS, be just the conduit through which life flows, then the exchange becomes natural.
There are several dimensions of the exchange. Between parents and children the exchange is one and it is related to Secret Ingredient No 2 – Greatfulness. We have nothing to give to our parents, we can only feel deep gratitude for what we have received from them – our life and that´s it. Even when we give them something in their old age, we still remain small in front of them. We give not from duty, but from gratitude.
It´s interesting the exchange between the equals. For example, between partners. With our partners we are equal because everyone is doing something for the other one so they can nourish the love. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the partner´s love is just called an EXCHANGE and there is nothing romantic about it. You have something that is important to me and I can give you something that is valuable to you. There is no room for unconditionality here. Beauty comes from being sober in our love. This is love between two adults. So we can ask our partner – How does my love reach you and what is an expression of love on my part? This will save us a lot of misunderstandings because it will open up space for everyone to put forward their views on this exchange. Imagine a situation where the woman likes to iron. She irons her loved ones’ shirts. But he hates ironed clothes and is annoyed every time he sees his flawless shirts in the closet. This gesture of hers does not reach his heart. He likes her kissing him and cooking for him. But she persistently continues to iron because her mother, for example, has done so with her father, and she believes that this is the way to the heart of her beloved.
On the other hand, she loves flowers, but he never gives them to her. Instead, he takes her to extreme races that she hates. Thus the love remains unspoken, because no one speaks of what gives personal value.
Exchange is balanced by giving as much as the other one can return. Do not bury your partner with tons of care, gifts and attention. Because then you are no longer at the level of partnership.
There are two types of EXCHANGE between the partners. Positively growing and negatively growing exchanges. When one does something for the other, they oblige them. Therefore, it is important to have a sober judgment about the other’s ability to give back. When we give, there is a natural inner striving of the other to equalize. They give, but also add a little bit more. Thus the exchange grows, and so is the love. This is a positively growing exchange. On the other hand, when one hurts the other, a deep inner feeling is created for the injured to return more. But then they bring their partner into a fractal of suffering, where everyone will have to balance the inflicted pain and it goes infinitely. The one who is wise returns but less. So there is an opportunity to null it and the exchange passes into the positive scale. Forgiveness where there is pain between partners is not an option. One to cause pain and the other to forgive them is often caused by fear of losing our beloved, and in some cases – to punish them with our magnanimity.
It gives a deceptively glorious splendor to the one who gives it, which immediately makes the other a “sinner”. Just as religion makes us all sinners before God, who, if we are righteous, will forgive our sins. It is important to be careful with forgiveness. I personally think you can forgive only yourself, your imperfections and actions. To put the others in the game of forgiveness is dangerous.
The secret ingredients of a good life are simple and accessible to each of us, moreover they are inherent to us. We all have a built-in internal compass in life that always tries to lead us in the direction of the True North. To relax and trust in the deepest and innermost is a fine art that we learn on our way of life.
Author – Teodora Racheva (Devi) – www.deviflow.com
TO THE SECRET INGREDIENTS IN ACTION
I thank my to teachers for the constellations from which I have drawn direct knowledge and through which something very ancient in me has been touched:
Bert Helinger (whom I have not seen personally, but his work is fundamental to this method and his books are inspiration).
And many more…